They say that eyes are very important, ja? I do not know how many times I have heard that you should never mess with your eyes, because you don't want to take any risks with them.
A few weeks ago, around the 6th of September, I was having a problem with my eyes. They were very red and irritated. I did not like this, so I called my eye doctor. I asked to schedule an appointment. Just my luck - they had a cancellation for that afternoon. So I snatched up the time slot.
When I got there, they told me they couldn't see me. Why? Because they needed a referral from my regular doctor, saying that I needed to go there. Even though I'd been there before. So I went to my doctor, and asked for a referral.
But no. They could not give me a referral until they saw me first. No matter that my eyes looked as red as a happy meal box. So, I asked to schedule an appointment. "I'm sorry - we don't have anything for a few weeks."
Seriously, people? Do you not know who I am? Apparently not. That will change.
Within two hours, they called and told me they could fit me in the next day. That sounded much better to my ears. So I went in, was seen, and a "stat referral" was put in place to get me to the eye doctor.
Now, I am not a doctor. I do not know much about medicine or such things. But what I DO know is that "stat" is short for "statim" which in Latin means "immediately." So, in other words, hurry up and fix the situation.
Because of the lovely medical system in place in America, today - about 3 weeks later - I finally had my appointment with my eye doctor. How's that for stat?
When I got there, I was seen very quickly. They gave me a few tests. On the second one, they told me that I likely wouldn't be able to take it because it wasn't meant to be taken by people with prescriptions as poor as mine. But I made that test my bitch.
After much examination of my eyes, it's been determined that they are dry. Yes, dry. Apparently dryness has affected my ability to wear my contacts for the past month. My eyes are not tearing up like they are supposed to.
I'm Scandinavian, bitch. I'm descended from Vikings. I have no tear ducts. I do not cry.
Needless to say, I've now been put on a prescription. Because I'm too much of a badass to properly "lubricate" my eyes naturally.
And then I had to order new glasses. Because I am not to wear my contacts for a good while longer. Thank you, America, for emptying my wallet today.
I am not a happy camper today. But just you wait - when I bounce back from this - you'll see a whole new side of me.